Jerry Odhiambo is Tom's seond-in-command here in Kenya. Around 30 years old, Jerry does everything - from managing program administration to coordinating mission team visits to helping kids write letters for their sponsors to driving a broken down matatu around picking up school kids each morning. Jerry has grown into this role over the past 3 years and it's been a joy to see him move up and up in his calling and his life. Late last year he told us he was planning to get married and though I didn't plan it, it happened that his wedding was scheduled for this weekend! It was a great and joyful ceremony, and I'm confident Jerry and his new wife Pauline have a great life together ahead of them. And like with anything in Africa, the day itself brought some unexpected, great, and strange things.
The wedding was scheduled to start at 9AM sharp (lol). Tom and I left the house about 10:15 to make sure we got there in plenty of time. The church was decked out in a beautiful blue and yellow fabric backdrop, and the cars they had borrowed to transport the wedding party were sitting outside tastefully decorated with matching ribbons and streamers. Of course none of the wedding party had yet arrived and there were just a few guests (including the 30 kids who live at the Centre) already there. The groom, his best man, and 5 other groomsmen showed up around 11 and we went back to the waiting area together for the next hour or so. I was very impressed with Jerry's wedding party, all lower to middle class guys aspiring (as far as I could tell from our conversations) to elevate themselves to the next level.
Around noon we went into the sanctuary where a band was playing bright Kenyan music. They led the guests in worship song and dance for another 30 minutes until finally the bridal party arrived. The groomsmen then danced their counterparts down the aisle to their seats to a Kenyan cover of I Will Follow You and finally the bride came down the aisle. She wore a traditional wedding dress and walked in to her seat unaccompanied (the "giving away" part of the wedding came later). I was then asked to come forward and share a brief word and pray to open the ceremonies. I had been told I was doing this so I was prepared. I wasn't prepared for the other two times I was handed a mic and asked to pray later on in the ceremony.
Pastor Tom got up and gave a brief but very meaningful message comparing marriage to a school in which both spouses are students for life who get to work together to advance further and further. Another pastor then got up and gave a longer message, which to my western ears seemed to not have quite the same depth. Some (by no means all) African preachers focus mostly on repeating simple truths charismatically, which all in all isn't a bad way to go I suppose. After that Tom's dad, known in this church as Apostle, officiated the ceremony part of the wedding but made sure to include some preaching and advice of his own. The more formal parts of the ceremony were, shall we say, less formal...many things here are more about fun than getting things "just right" and Apostle I don't think had officiated in a while. No matter though - all the vows were said sincerely, rings were exchanged, the marriage certificate was signed, the bride was kissed, and the hall was filled with exuberant prayer, worship, and cheering at intervals throughout. All in all the ceremony took about 3 hours with several "not sure what's supposed to be happening right now" moments...I'm fairly certain wedding rehearsals are not a thing here.
Afterwards guests made their way in overcrowded cars, rented moto-taxis, and on foot to an outdoor reception a half mile away. It was also brightly and tastefully decorated in the same blue and yellow, and guests sat under two big tents on either side of two center tents, one holding the wedding cakes and the other with seats and tables for the bridal party. The band lugged their instruments and PA system over and re-set while the bridal party went somewhere for pictures and the guests sat and waited (waiting around for long periods of time is definitely a thing here).
Finally the food was served even though the bridal party hadn't yet arrived. Everyone ate lunch and as we were finishing, the bride and groom showed up and (of course) danced their way onto the scene, the bridal party in line behind them, and anyone else who wanted to join forming a long train, grand march-style, that danced around in circles for 20 minutes or so before everyone took their seats. Unexpectedly, this was the only dancing that happened at the reception. The rest of the time was dominated by a hilariously drawn-out cake cutting ceremony, in which the bride and groom, egged on by a female emcee, basically play house and welcome each other to their new home, talking about what their house looks like (for our couple it was a one-room hut with a digital key pad for entry). I couldn't help but wonder how this ceremony would go over in an American wedding, especially the part where the first part of the house the groom shows his bride is where the cooking is to be done.
When that was all done, the bride and groom toasted, and the guests were served cake, everyone presented their gifts, alongside some speeches which were encouraged in vain to be brief because (surprise) we were running out of daylight. Just like the wedding, the whole reception took place as the band played African music, an exuberant background track that gave the whole thing a light hearted party feel rarely accomplished at even the most laid back of American receptions. A great day, but like with everything here it would have been far greater if I could have shared it with Anneliese and Titus...next time!!
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